Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Who died my cat blue again?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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