You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
