Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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