we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize