i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
