When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Randomize
