she pinky promised me she was 18
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize