I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Found the puke drawer
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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