i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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