So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
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He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
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The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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