she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!