All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture