my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
