I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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