you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
