Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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