My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
