only you would photoshop your dick
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
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I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
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He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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