How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
