I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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