This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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