dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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