i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Randomize
