Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
is wine microwaveable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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