The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
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you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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