My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
