Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
