Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize