Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
