I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
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I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
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How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just jacked off to nostalgia.