After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.