thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My boob is missing a layer of skin
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing