hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize