OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
