my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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