i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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