I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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