Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
