puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We need to get me chipped asap
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