Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
