pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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