dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
