Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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