you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
me + whiskey = a bad person
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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