I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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