I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
