I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
