you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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