I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
