Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
