This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize