I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
