I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize