Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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