Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
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I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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