Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize