I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
