the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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